Maybe I'm Just a Ghost
by aaliyahcrosses
Summary: Middle schooler Edogawa Conan liked mysteries, but he didn't like solving them. But she was a mystery he thinks he couldn't pass on: the young girl in the park who stays in the cemetery park where Agasa-hakase was buried. The young girl whose strawberry blonde hair seems very, very familiar.


It was a girl.

A girl with a shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair looking almost bored to death as she sat under the tree on the then-deserted park. He found himself walking towards her, without even realizing he was. It was only when she looked up and stared at him that he realized he did.

Feeling a bit awkward for approaching a girl without any sort of reason, he smiled sheepishly. "Hey."

The girl gave a nod, and silently moved slightly to the side: an action he took for an invitation to sit beside her. He shuffled onward, feeling both light and heavy at the same time. A weird, _peculiar_ feeling.

When he was situated properly, he looked at her again while he tried fixing his glasses. There was something familiar and comforting on her features, although of course, he couldn't pinpoint what. He'd never met her before. Or if he did, he didn't remember.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, for a topic to this otherwise bland... conversation. "The gates are closing."

She had not looked at him the entirety of the time he sat down and after he spoke, she had eyed him. He found her eyes... familiar. He found her familiar. _Why is that?_

"How about you?" She was grinning rather sardonically. "What are you doing here?"

He'd snorted. "Visited someone." _I feel like I should be here_ , was what he'd wanted to say, _under this tree, with you_ , but it sounded too ridiculous to his own ears.

She didn't reply after that, and he couldn't think of anything to talk about. It didn't take long before he left, and he'd questioned her when she was going home.

She merely smiled at him and said, "Bring books next time."

Flabbergasted, he left the park, with more questions than answers on his mind.

* * *

"Ah! Conan-kun! You're back!"

"Since a week ago, actually, Ran-neechan. I just straightened some papers though, so there's _that_."

"You should have told me! How was America?"

"Fine. How have you been?"

"Everything's been fine here in this side of the world too. Although Ayumi-chan and the rest of the Shounen Tantei-dan really missed you, you know?"

* * *

"How did you know?" he asked her as soon as he sat down right beside her, handing her a Sherlock Holmes book.

"Know what?" she asked as she grasped the book on her hands. He didn't let go, however, at the sudden realization that the book he had given her was _English_ , not Japanese. What if she didn't read English?

But the glare she had sent him actually kinda scared him (what a terrifying look on a little girl!), and the book easily slipped from his hold. She went back to her initial position, this time, reading.

He sighed. Something was nagging him. Perhaps it was the unanswered question from earlier. He feigned clearing his throat, and turned back to her again. "How'd you know I'll return?"

"It just seemed you would," she replied quickly, without even looking at him.

She flipped on the next page, and he found himself on another awkward silence. Or at least it seemed awkward to him. She didn't seem to be fazed by it. He decided he'll be bringing a book of his own next time. A decision that surprised him because it was something that proved he subconsciously decided he would go back here and have already planned what he'd be doing.

Huh. _Weird_.

"So, uh, what time did you leave yesterday?" He asked her hesitantly.

"I didn't," she replied with the same monotonous voice.

He frowned. "What do you mean you didn't?"

She paused in her reading to look at him degradingly. And it worked. He felt really stupid.

"It means," she said, "I _didn't_."

"But... but..." He stuttered over his words, wondering what to ask next. "Does that mean... do you live here?"

She sighed. "You could say that."

A young girl, about age nine, living inside a cemetery park. How does _that_ even work?

"I don't believe you," he responded.

"I'm not asking you to. You asked me, I answered. You don't believe me? Not my problem."

Later, when he left, he waited outside the gates, wanting to see if the girl was telling the truth. The gates have closed. It was almost nine when he left, and there was still no sign of any sort of girl-or any sort of person, to be honest, leaving the premises.

* * *

"Conan-kun!"

"Oi!"

"Conan!"

"Ahaha, hey, guys. Been some time, yeah?"

"..."

"Oi, oi, Ayumi, you don't have to cry-... Wha-t...? Mitsuhiko, you too? And even Genta?! Guys? Guys?!"

* * *

"Hey, uhm, so, what's your name?" He asked her while they read, side by side. She was reading one of the books from the Hardy Boys series, courtesy of him, of course.

"Ai."

"Oh, you mean like, ' _love_ '?"

She shook her head, as she traced a finger down on the ground. She formed the kanji for _sadness_ instead.

He blinked in surprise. Once, and then twice. "How about a last name then?"

"I don't have one."

"What?! Now I _really_ don't believe you."

"Actually," she sighed as she retraced the kanji she had made earlier. "I think it's more accurate to say that I don't remember. I remember having one. I just... don't remember what it was."

* * *

"Eh?! What do you mean? You not solving cases? That's... that's _impossible_!"

"I don't solve cases anymore, Mitsuhiko. I... I'm not a good detective. I've focused on my violin and writing stories now. I don't remember how to do it."

"It's just weird for me. Loath as I am to say it, you were the best detective in the group. I used to think I was second best, but then Haibara-san came in the group-"

" _Haibara-san_?"

"Sorry. Forget what I said, Conan. It's nice to see you again."

"Mm-hmm. Good luck on the exams."

"I will. Good luck to you too, Conan."

"Haibara, huh..."

* * *

"Hey." Surprisingly, it was her who approached him first this day. "If I told you I was trapped in here, would you try and save me?"

He was surprised at his lack of hesitance when he said, "I will," and nodded. Normally, he'd think and rethink such stuff. Because Edogawa Conan is _not_ heroic. Ever since he had left Japan before, he had given up on some ideals. He still loved heroes, the _concept_ of heroes, but he knew it could never be remade in real life. Heroes make _sacrifices_ and _he_ is not ready to make one.

She smiled then, something that shocked him because he rarely ever see her smile. There was always this blank expression on her face. As if she was hollow.

"That's good to know." She closed her eyes. "Knowing that someone will be there when I need help. Thank you."

* * *

"Mama."

"Co-kun! How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Ne, Mama... Are you sure it's alright to be using some of Shinichi-niisan's stuff? It just seems wrong."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He's my son after all. I'd know what he'd want and what he wouldn't."

"Okay."

"Oh, by the way, Co-kun? Have you taken your medications yet?"

"Uhm..."

"Now, now. That wouldn't do! Not at all! Don't forget to take them. Everyday."

"Alright, alright. Sheesh..."

"Co-kun. It's for your own good."

"I know, I know. By the way, Mama."

"Yes?"

"Do you know anyone called Haibara?"

"..."

"Mama?"

"Sorry, Co-kun. But I have to go. Someone's calling me. Bye bye!"

* * *

He'd found her that day wide-eyed and scared. And when she looked at him that day, she was pleading for help.

"I can't... I don't... remember..." She was gasping for breath. "... name... can't remember... don't..."

He swiftly headed to her, hugging her small frame. "Ai. It's _Ai_." And he repeatedly whispered her name to her. Again and again and _again_ , until she _remembered_ , until she _knew_. _Until she had calmed down_.

When it was all over and they sat side by side, he never let go of the little girl's hand as she told him what had happened.

"Everyday," she said, "I forget. I lose myself. The only thing I remember now is my name. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure if it was ever mine. Losing my name..." She paused and played with the pages of the book in her hand. "I don't know why, but I have the feeling that losing my name would be the end of me."

* * *

"You and Mitsuhiko, in prep school. So, Conan, what's it like? Do they serve good food there?"

"It's okay, enough, I guess."

" _Ha_? That's not a good answer you know! Mitsuhiko rarely talks to me ever since he went there. Even though we always see each other. Conan, you're my only hope!"

"Oi, oi, Genta... Eh? Is that your phone?"

"Ah! Yeah, sorry I have to go. There's someone I have to visit."

"Eh? What's this? Does Genta have a girlfriend?"

"... it's girl _friend_ , more like. And you'd like her. I promise."

"It isn't Ayumi is it?"

"See ya _later_ , Conan."

* * *

"Who... was the girl with you today?" she asked him. For some reason, she seemed quite restless. The way she fidgeted as she read the book made it obvious.

"You were here? But I didn't see you!" he exclaimed as he put down the book. "I actually wanted to introduce you two to each other, but-"

"Forget it." She said forcefully as she turned away from him and buried herself in the book.

"Why?"

She sighed, put down the book and looked at him. "I don't want to meet her."

He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.

"Don't get me wrong," she continued, "she doesn't look scary or anything like that, but... I'm scared. Whenever I look at her, I get scared. And it's not _her_ I'm scared of. It's something else entirely. And _I don't know what it is_."

Surprised, it took him some time to recover to speak again. But when he finally did, he said, "She's Ran-neechan. Mouri Ran. She _can_ be scary when she wants to because she _knows_ karate, her mom is an attorney and her dad is a detective. She's a really good cook though. And very patient and kind and caring."

She blinked, and smiled. Her eyes had this faraway look to them. "She sounds like an angel."

He laughed. "She's the one I know closest to one." He smiled at her, as he fixed his glasses (which fell when he laughed). "So, really, you don't have to be scared to meet her. You'll be fine. And I'm sure, she'd like you. I'm her little brother so I'm sure she'd like a little sister too."

She gasped. " _Sister_?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"I... I don't... I _think_... I have a sister."

* * *

"Conan-kun! I heard from Mitsuhiko-kun you go to Agasa-hakase's grave everyday!"

"W-well..."

"You really miss him that much, huh?"

"I do. After all, Agasa-hakase took care of me as much as Ran-neechan di-... Argh..."

"Conan-kun! Are you alright?!"

"I am, I am... Don't... don't worry about me, Ayumi. It's just... Just a small migraine, that's all."

* * *

"It's really weird," he told her as he lied down, no intention of reading today with lots of things going in his mind. "They all expect me to play detective every time something happens."

"Maybe they were used to you as that. As a detective," she replied as she put down the book, obviously sensing the other wanted to talk.

"I know, but can't they see I'm not _that_ anymore?" he sighed. "I don't like being detective. It just puts people I care about in danger."

"If you want me to judge that, then I might need a story of what happened, not just _that_. Not just a statement," she looked up at the tree tops.

"That time, it was Agasa-hakase's funeral," his voice had gone rather distant, as if he had withdrawn. "Of course, I was devastated, who wouldn't be? He was the nearest thing to grandfather I had. Then _they_ came. I... don't remember much of what happened, but... I'm told it's where Shinichi-niisan died."

And it was true. He doesn't remember much of that day. He remembered staying in the funeral, after everyone else had gone. He remembered a man who had raised a gun at him. He remembered a hand on his. What baffled him was that the feeling of that hand was different. Had it been Shinichi-niisan's, as people have told him, then why was it a hand that slightly smaller than his? Not only that, but that hand was cold.

He was pulled out of his reverie when he heard her speak again. "Shi... nichi?" Her eyes had glassed. She wasn't _with him_ again. Her mind was trying to remember something.

"Ai?"

She turned to look at him, and he saw that she was crying. " _Kudo_ ," she had said. " _Kudo-kun_."

He had left her when she had calmed down, but he couldn't shake the feeling that everytime she said the name, it was his she had been calling all that time.

* * *

"Conan-kun, are you alright?"

"Of course I am, Ran-neechan."

"You look like you haven't slept in a week though."

"..."

"Conan-kun, tell me what's wrong? _Please_?"

"It's just dreams. Nothing to worry about."

"Alright then. But what are those boxes?"

"They're Hakase's old things. Subaru-san gave them to me."

"Agasa-hakase's?"

"Mm."

"Conan-kun. Open that, okay? I know there's something you're looking for, and maybe... well, maybe you'll find it there."

* * *

He'd woken up after a nightmare. He'd dreamt of that day, of the funeral, and he dreamt the striking silver hair of the man with the gun. He dreamt of his cruel grin, remembered his dead, dead eyes. He felt the pain in his abdomen. And he also saw, in that dream a girl with strawberry blonde hair.

He struggled to get up, because it seemed to him that the past and present are mixing in his head. Perhaps it's the medicine. He managed to get himself to the kitchen, but paused at the sight of the box on the table.

He opened it to find a bunch of pictures. Of the Professor, of the Kudous, of Ran-neechan, of the Detective Boys, of himself. But what surprised him the most was the picture of a girl. It was Ai. The Ai he kept meeting under the tree in the park where Agasa-hakase was buried.

"How...?"

He felt the headache kicking in again and that was the last thing he remembered before he finally lost consciousness.

* * *

"Ran-neesan!"

"So you found out?"

"She... she was Haibara Ai, right? I remember... I remember being shot, and her saying that... that... _that she promised she'd come back to that place_."

"Conan-kun?"

"She... she's waiting _for me_. I'm so stupid! I'm stupid! I _left_ her-..."

"Conan-kun! Don't run off in the... rain..."

* * *

The girl is scared, hiding behind the boy _man_ , for he was _Shinichi Kudou_ that day, and a silver haired man watches them from behind his raised gun. _Shinichi_ stands in front of her to protect her, tried negotiating with this escaped convict to stall for time until he could think of a _plan_. But then the man fired the gun, and he was shot. The girl, Haibara Ai screamed. _Shinichi_ was shot on his abdomen, and he slowly felt himself losing grip on his consciousness. He'd fallen on his back, and he heard Gin's voice, but he couldn't quite make out what he said. But then he forgot thinking about it, because Haibara, his cold, sarcastic, abrasive _partner_ , leaned down to him.

"Don't worry, don't worry," she whispered, "When I'm finished... speaking... with him, when all this is over, we'll meet again, alright? Over here. We'll meet. I promise." And then the feeling of her lips on his forehead.

He'd woken up in the hospital after that, as Edogawa Conan, and he'd found out that Haibara was in the ICU, and it seemed like there was nothing anyone can do. Her condition was too delicate, too critical when they found her.

Hattori Heiji had visited him in the hospital.

The _Osaka_ n had called him Kudou, but he would have none of it.

"I'm not _him_ ," he spat bitterly. "I refused to be called-... I'm _Edogawa Conan_. I can't be someone who just lets his _partner_ disappear like so. I... I'm _not_ Kudou Shinichi."

* * *

"You..."

"Well, I guess my memories are back, thanks to you. It was always you, wasn't it, Kudou-kun?"

"I didn't even get to _save_ you."

"That's how it works. You can't save everyone, Kudou-kun. Even Superman failed some times."

"Please don't call me..."

"Kudou-kun? But that's _you_. That's your real name."

"..."

"I'm really sorry about the cure."

"It's... it's nothing. Ran-neechan... she's happy now. _Happier_ , actually. She never cries over some _jerk_."

"You do know you're still referring to yourself when you say that?"

"..."

"Kudou-kun. Edogawa-kun. They're the same person. Same mind, _technically_ same body. Same everything."

"But Kudou Shinichi..."

"Kudou Shinichi did everything he could, and Edogawa-kun helped me with my memories."

"Oi, Ai, why are you... You're _fading_."

"Sooner or later, Kudou-kun. The promise was that we had to meet. Not _stay_."

"But..."

"I'd probably forget too."

"What?"

" _Sayonara_ , Kudou-kun."

* * *

He'd woken up drained. He lost her once, and he lost her again. How cruel can life be?

But all of a sudden, his phone rang.

"Conan-kun!" _Ayumi_. "Ai-chan's awake! She's _awake_!"

He thought his heart actually stopped beating for a moment, and when it returned, it was beating too rapidly, too quickly.

From the other side of the line, there was a scuffle occurring, and small hushed voices of what Conan assumed was Genta and Mitsuhiko. "You weren't supposed to tell him!" "He doesn't remember, remember?!" And the line was cut before he could even ask what was going on.

Although, he _knew_. He knew what was going on. Haibara Ai didn't die, like he'd thought. Haibara Ai was in a _coma_ , and she'd just woken up.

He called another number. "Ran-neechan?"

Of course, Ran also already knew. "I'll ask Rei-kun to drive the two of us to the hospital."

* * *

.

.

.

When he'd opened the door, he saw her-Haibara Ai-her eyes were bleary and form sickly, but she was actually _smiling_. The Detective Boys were there too, with Mitsuhiko actually studying on the floor, Genta fixing the flowers while Ayumi directed him.

He didn't enter right away. It was Ran who did, with her fiancé, who placed a basket of fruits on the table while Ran fussed over Ai. Ran smiled at Ai, there were no words spoken. But the taller woman hugged Ai, which the girl returned with much fervor.

Ran's fiancé's left the room with a farewell, and Ran stood up to that, ushering the Detective Boys out as she did. The remaining ones were, of course, Ai, and Conan.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Conan felt pressure on himself. What was he to say? It was easier to speak when he didn't remember _anything_.

Instead, she raised a hand to him with a small grin on her face. "Welcome back, Edogawa-kun."

He just _stared_ at her.

She rolled her eyes. "What, you're gonna make me wait here like a _jerk_?"

He gave a start, and he laughed, as he made his way to her bed, and took her hand on his.

* * *

 _ **END.**_

* * *

A/N: If you see anything that needs to be corrected, please kindly comment on it. It will be really helpful and much appreciated.  
A/N#2:I may have taken a character from another series as Ran's husband. Maybe. BTW, Ran works as a lawyer, and her fiancé is a judge. :) things to know: he actually proposed before a case, before they entered the courtroom. no one else was a witness to it. lawyer ran though eyyy. although nurse ran is also one of my favourites  
A/N#3: update - changed "niikun" to "niisan." Apparently calling someone "kun" who is older/has a higher status than you is kinda problematic. Probably should have searched that before using _h u h_


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